No matter how much connected you started in a relationship, with time often things seem to change. Often the relationship which used to be a pleasure for you, starts becoming a source of unhappiness and problems over time. Do you feel something is missing from your relationship? Are you worried if you two are actually heading towards a break up? Then check out for these signs which will clearly tell you if your relationship is in trouble.
[ Hindi version ]
The good thing is that, even if you are able to point these signs in your relationship, things are not completely over yet, as none of you have yet spelled the final words. So, you still have some time in hand to change things and to make your relationship better. However, know for sure, improving a relationship that has already started to show the signs of trouble will take some good effort from both the partners. Nevertheless, if you have the right intentions, it is never difficult.
Check out the signs that tells your relationship is in trouble,
You feel disconnected from your partner
This is one of the very first signs which will tell clearly that your relationship is heading down. A relationship has a lot to do with our psychology. A healthy relationship will nurture you emotionally, making you more strong and stable. On the other hand, an unhealthy relationship will add to your psychological vulnerability. If your relationship is heading to a corner, the first sign you will observe is the change of your own psychology. If you have lately started feeling disconnected from your partner or if it has come to a point where whatever your partner do, does not matter to you, it is a sure sign of psychological withdrawal from the relationship.
This does not indicate that your relationship will surely end soon, but it notifies the beginning of the down fall. So, if you have started to feel disconnected from your partner but you do not actually want the relationship to end, you should become cautious with this first intimidation and take a deeper look into yourself to find out the source of the problem.
You criticize “always”
Criticizing always needs not to be bad but if you criticize your partner always for almost everything, things are surely going to end badly. You have every right to discuss any fault that your partner might have but criticizing him or her always, for almost everything is not certainly going to make your relationship any better. Everyone loves to hear praise from his or her partner. If you cannot praise him or her, it is okay, but criticizing him or her always is certainly going to make your partner feel unwanted, which is sure to trigger a chain of psychological events in your partner’s mind which will hamper your relationship. If your partner has a fault or he does something that you do not like, discuss it with him but do not criticize him. Always make sure that you discuss the faults of your partner only when you two are alone and not in public.
So, take a note of how exactly you talk with your partner and if you find that you have been criticizing him or her a lot, it is not certainly a healthy sign rather can be the starting point of a broken relationship.
You are careless about your partner’s feelings
A relationship is not a tangible thing that you can physically nurture. It needs to be nurtured psychologically with the right emotions. If you have lately become careless about how your partner feels about your behavior towards him or her or about your actions towards the relationship, it directly indicates that there is something seriously wrong which can lead to a disaster. In a relationship, it is really important that both the partners are equally respectful and caring about the feelings of the other. If the feelings of your partner seem not to matter to you anymore, your relationship is surely heading towards the danger zone.
If you are actually serious about the relationship, the best way to come out of this type of situation is to take a deeper look at yourself to find out where and when you started neglecting the feelings of your partner and talk out whatever issues you two might have. Remember, if both of you are really willing, your relationship can be healed, it only needs a bit of extra effort.
Being together always leads to negativity
In a busy lifestyle, the time you two spend together on a day to day basis might be really less but still it is not a negative sign. However, the moment your time together starts to become a time for fighting and ending up negative, something is seriously wrong. The time you spend with each other should be quality time, even if it is not much as far as quantity is concerned, but if this time starts to end in negativity it is sure to take a toll on the relationship sooner than later. Arguing on something or discussing on something when you two are spending time together is absolutely fine. Even having a light spat infrequently during your time together is also quite usual but if always your time together end negatively, it needs to be taken care of quickly if you want to stop the relationship from falling apart.
You two do not agree on anything
When you are in a relationship, it is important that you two agree with each other on at least some of the points. You cannot really make a relationship work if you two seem to go in opposite directions in almost everything. If you have lately started to feel that you two do not agree on almost anything, it directly points to the fact that there is a scarcity of affection between you two. It is difficult for two people to gel well and get into a relationship unless they had some of the things in common but with time things change and if you have reached a stage when you two do not agree on anything, your relationship is sure shot heading towards a collapse.
“Why should I compromise?”
Have you started to tell yourself this phrase lately? Be sure that your relationship is in trouble. If you are getting in a relationship, it is important that you are prepared to compromise. For a successful and happy relationship it is really vital that both the partners are ready to compromise for the other. You really need not to leave everything that you want to make your relationship work but you should be ready to compromise to some extent to make things work. If you become stringent about not compromising, then things can never work. Even if your partner compromise and adjust with you to some extent, after a point he or she is surely going to get exhausted. So, if you have stopped compromising and is pushing your partner to make all the adjustments, the lifeline of your relationship is not certainly heading towards a healthy future.
Usually towards the beginning of a relationship differences are not evident as both partners are ready to compromise and agree with the other. However, with time things change and often the same people reach a point where they start to tell themselves, “Why me?” So, stop being egoistic and believe that both of you are compromising not for the other but to make the relationship work.
Lack of trust
One of the very common signs that can be noticed in a relationship heading towards break up is lack of trust between the partners. When it comes to a relationship, trust is most important. If you are not honest to your partner, things are surely going to go south sooner or later. Most importantly, while being honest in a relationship is important, trusting your partner is equally vital. If you do not trust your partner or if you are always expecting him or her to cheat on you; your relationship is certainly not healthy. Lack of trust can be most dangerous for any relationship and if you have suddenly started to notice a downfall in your mutual trust, it is important that you discuss the matter and clear the air immediately, because lack of trust can ruin any relationship.
Ridiculing, disrespecting or belittling your partner always is a sure shot sign that your relationship is heading towards disaster. Mutual respect and regard for each other is important in every relationship. If any of the partners in a relationship has started to show disrespect to the other in any form, it is surely going to affect the relationship in the worst way. For a healthy relationship partners should be more concerned about correcting themselves, instead of belittling or disrespecting the other.
Being always defensive
Defending your position blindly without understanding the point of your partner in case of every argument is not a sign of healthy relationship. When people become defensive, they are ready to go to any extent to defend them and their own interest without being careful about the exact point his or her partner is trying to make. Believing that “I am always right” is a thought process that naturally makes a person defensive. Being defensive always makes you blind towards the actual problem your partner might be trying to present in front of you and it can also make you go out of bound and insult your partner in the worst way just to defend your own interest.
Relationship consultants consider stonewalling as one of the most dreaded signs of trouble in a relationship which is sure to head towards a collapse in no time. Stonewalling means withdrawing from conversation or from the relationship completely to avoid conflicts or problems. If there is a problem in your relationship, you should talk that out with your partner. Ups and downs are part of every relationship and it is really important that you discuss and mutually solve any problems that your relationship might be going through. Instead, if you start withdrawing yourself from your partner or from the relationship, it is sure to escalate the problems, making both the partners least concerned about the other.
[ Hindi version ]